in Poetry 30 Words

Moonbeams dance

moonbeams dance on my pillow
this unknown summer night
venus blooms like cereus
in an ebony sky
a hushed wind carries 
My dreams to you
I pick up my pen...

428 thoughts on “Moonbeams dance”

  12. Lyrics in action. I like how the poem captures the present and makes that very moment its own creation. The poem remains alive even after the reading stops. Not a single word is extra. The train of imagery is beautiful, travelling through a land of reality, mythology, nature, dreams and coming back to its source in the end. Enthusiastic to read more of your works.
    Also, thanks for viewing my work. It would be wonderful to have any remarks or suggestions for the same. If you find my work intriguing, please don’t shy away from visiting my infant website for academic content- https://therealmofliterature.wordpress.com and my baby blog for creative content- https://svayamwriteson.wordpress.com

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    1. Yes, agree with this review. Transitioning between reality and dream is most accomplished in this piece. The elements of nature like the moonbeams, the sky, the summer night and the wind establish this connection so beautifully expressed. And “not a single word is extra”. Love the concision and the power this poem has. The image of moonbeams dancing on a pillow provides a great opening. It gives the poem wings and beauty. At the same time it is the first bridge between reality and the world of dreams. Isn’t dancing also associated with our dreams and desires? Also, I like the air of mystery with the “unknown summer night”. “Venus blooms like cereus” provides beauty with thorns. I am wondering about this. If Venus stands for Love perhaps this hints at some relationship where someone was deeply hurt or not reciprocated? Well, it’s just personal interpretation. In any case, the image of cereus and that of the “ebony sky” bring the feeling of texture in your piece, which is wonderful. So sensual and delightful when you can taste a poem with many of your senses. “A hushed wind” is a lovely image too for its beautiful contrast. It makes the reader think and helps maintain the air of mystery. The last verse is a total change where, after the persona has been contemplating the transitions between reality and dreams, he or she decides to take action and grab a pen. A lovely piece, Yassy!

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      1. You are very perceptive and I love the way you have interpreted my poem. Thank you for this beautiful, wonderful comment.
        What a magnificent magnanimous heart you have.

        Liked by 1 person

  35. (i hear a song)
    Asus (D5)
    moonbeams dance on my pillow
    this unknown summer night
    A
    venus blooms like cereus
    in an ebony sky
    F#sus
    a hushed wind carries
    G
    My dreams to you
    A
    I pick up my pen
    Asus
    ………………………

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  42. Beautiful in its expression of the alluring and poignant NOW. There is a deep sensitivity to the wonder at any given time of the black heavens serenaded by moonlight. I appreciate that you have liked my poem, and I am thankful to have found yours.

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  44. Hello there,

    I have nominated you for the Liebster Award. Congratulations!! If you like to participate, please follow the link below to find all the information needed.
    If you maintain an award-free blog and I am unintentionally unaware of the fact, please don’t feel that I’ve ignored your wishes or disrespected you. If you don’t want to take part, that’s perfectly fine, of course. In this case, please regard this nomination as a recognition and thank you from me for frequenting my blog, for following me, liking my posts and for sharing your thoughts with me.
    Thank you, for being a part of my blogging journey!
    Be well and happy writing,
    Claudia
    https://claudiabraunblog.wordpress.com/2020/06/26/liebster-award/

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Thank you so much , Claudia.
      You are right, I don’t do awards but I am honoured , delighted and thrilled with your nomination.

      This is inspiring for me. Thank you for being on my page , for being a part of my blogging family. Be well. Stay safe.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

    1. Thank you, Phil. I am deeply honoured you thought of my work.
      My blog is award free and I write because I am passionate about poetry. Your nomination is award in itself and I am deeply touched. Thank you 😊

      Liked by 1 person

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