my father

my father tried to scar me for life
deep inside of me this psychological strife
he vented all his frustration on me
my mother turned a blind eye, pretended not to see
he hated me for reasons I could not comprehend
i was the little girl that nobody cared to defend
home was not home but living hell
my time in school, a welcome spell
society saw him as man, smiling, debonair
wooing people around him with flair

I cannot bring myself to write in verse the abuse and harassment I endured as a child..I started writing poetry at age five and kept a book of all that came into my head.over the years the book grew fat in volume, I mean, I am telling you this because when I came to grade ten, i had a whole lot of poetry.of course, I couldn’t lug the book to school everday.one day i get back from school and I find my book of poems gone..I have never been so desperate in my life.I searched the house frantically and finally found the burnt embers in the fireplace..I did not even confront him..I was too broken that day to say a word..
But the brazen abuse continued..If the man who gave birth to you tries to sexually abuse you, what are you going to do? I was thrown out of the house on several occasions, often I would sit in the darkness of the night cold and hungry, waiting for him to sleep so that I could slip back into the house..At sixteen,I looked like crazy for a place to stay. Finally, I found a hostel run by the roman nuns, they denied me a place initially but after a lot of pleading they let me stay for a fee..

Because of the continued support of the blogging community here, I have been able to talk about this..I have been wanting to let go for a long time now..I think a year here has helped me, made me believe in the goodness of humanity again..
That is a huge sigh of relief from me, I am so happy I shared this..

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211 thoughts on “my father

  1. Hi Yas. You are a beautiful, strong person and thankfully have managed to come out unscathed. God Bless You and May the present and future give you enough happiness to make it feel like the past was one big, bad dream.
    And you are right, the blogging community is one big family where one is never really alone. Tc.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh, Yassy, I just read this and can only imagine the deep pain you suffered from the father who should have loved you…I am sorry. Evil cannot steal your joy (or your poetry) any longer! I will pray that God will continue to heal your heart with his forever love and grace.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. To the contrary, thank you. You did share something quite intimate and quite rough to say the least, but by doing so you do help others. Even if is not exactly what you experienced, you bring light. I was quite sad yet at the same time inspired that a person can go through such things and come out good. That is the gift you gave the readers.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Hello Yassy, I have had this poem and message in my email box for a while and have read it again today. I have no words to make these horrible memories go away or to express how bad I feel for you having endured this. You write beautiful poetry and you seem to have a happy life now so you have overcome and actually proved to the world your worth and strength of character. You are an amazing woman.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Keep up your strength and resolve to go forth Yassy. You will prevail through all this sadness and see the light. Continue writing as it will help you heal and move on. May only the best happen now onwards for you. God bless and take good care. Xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Powerfully written-I can’t “like” it but you’re certainly strong and a survivor to come through such a painful, devastating struggle. I hope things are easier for you now. Thanks for stopping by my blog – glad you liked the posts.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I am glad you let a part of your pain out by sharing it with us. Your story again reminds me of the fact that even after the darkest of hours, there is always light. We are with you, dear poet. You are such a powerful soul. You have survived the darkest of times, and I sincerely hope and pray for a good life and good health for you hereafter.
    Best wishes,
    Nabila

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I am so sorry for all that you have endured and for all that was taken from you. How awful that your poems were burned. 😦 Your heart remembers them and maybe your heart will share them with you again so that you can write them out again and no one can ever take them from you again.

    Have a blessed weekend.

    Liked by 1 person

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